Tag Archives: tease and denial

Diary Entry: Real Changes and a Sissy-gasm

There are real changes happening.

I noticed them Sunday night as I put my 5″ stilleto high heels on. I thought I would manage okay in high heels, but I couldn’t really walk, and I couldn’t control myself sexually either. That last one bears repeating.

I couldn’t control myself sexually in high heels.

Mistress Lillith had me purchase a chastity device and had been making references to sexual frustration and compliance in some of her messages, which sounds both fun and a little scary.

Prior to Sunday, I had been chaste since last Thursday. I had a pink ribbon tied around my clit.

It’s constant rubbing causing very mild irriation. I was wearing panties occasionally, and I dutifully listened to my mantras prior to bed–playing them on repeat with Mistress Lillith’s subspace hypno goodie as I fell asleep.

Sunday I had some alone time for the first time since … Thursday.

My shoes and cut-offs arrived on Saturday.

I put on the cut-offs with my tank top and thong underwear. WTH, size 31 is never tooooo big for me. I didn’t realize they would stretch so much. Okay that was a little disappointing.

How about the shoes?

Oh my gosh, perfect fit. The strap tied around my ankle, locking them in place. (The strap was surprisingly hard to lock and unlock!) I tried standing: my butt and chest instantly pushed out in opposite directions. Whoa, weird… and interesting. I took a few wobbly steps and realized I didn’t know how to walk in 5″ heels. “I’d better sit back down,” I thought.

Mistress Lillith’s twitter feed had showed some unusual NF activity for her on a Sunday, especially a holiday weekend. I thought there might be a chance of contacting her. I even tried reaching out to her on Skype, which I’ve never used before. No luck.

I purchased a tease and denial dice game video instead.

Stroking. Slow and fast. Alternating styles. It was clear there wouldn’t be a chance to orgasm at the end fo this video. On the last 5 of the dice rolls Mistress Lillith had me edge the number of times as on the die.

Pausing the video… stroking… staring at my shoes. Edge… Breathing… Again… Fuck, my shoes. A tiny pink ribbon bow sticking out from cut offs that were now riding up my ass. Edge. Again.

I was pulsating and twitching. An extra five dice rolls were granted, more stroking but ultimately denial. Staring at my shoes as I stroked… Oh no, I’m cumming. I tried to stand and to make it to the bathroom, but I COULD NOT WALK. ERUPTION. I collapsed in my chair. I completely lost control. Lost control of myself, of my feelings, of my arousal. I hardly recognized the view of my legs… a pink ribbon… a sticky mess… my shoes.

I completely lost control. Wow that was an intense orgasm. Shades of my teenage self. There are real changes happening to me sexually.

Justen — Sexual Frustration is Rising

Here are more of Justen’s Thoughts as he continues his 12 week sissy training process. How do you think he is faring? Feel free to comment below with suggestions, comments and/or questions:

7/13 Today I didn’t have to go to any classes so I stayed home for awhile and took a long bath.i love taking baths the heat feels so good, I love closing my eyes. After I did the affirmations I closed my eyes and saw myself next to a blonde girl we were cuddled in the bed both wearing corsets and stockings she had her arms wrapped around me. When I got out of the bath I put on some pink panties with hearts and walked around since I was home alone.

I felt pretty horny so I tried orgasm edging…then got worried that I was going to cum so I stopped.

I left the house wearing the panties and did a couple things, and went to my school. When I got back home I said hi to my parents and went to my room and did a little homework and then edged again. I feel so horny all the time! It sucks 🙁 I want some release please, pretty please!?

7/14 OMG  today felt so good outside!! Today I went to school and sat through my boring classes :(.

When I got home I did my affirmations, while my eyes were closed I saw myself wearing guy clothes but under it I had on panties, a garter belt and stockings.

I was walking arm and arm with a girl. I had a butt plug in my butt, and the girl knew that I had the plug in. when she knew that there wasn’t anyone was looking would rub against my but reminding me that it was there. I think the easiest habit or thing I can do is take a shower using feminine soaps and stuff since I take a shower every day, and now I’m using feminine soaps. I also tried doing some yoga again :)… But I’m not flexible yet so it’s all really hard to do :(.

I haven’t came yet, this whole edging is hard by the way.

I am really looking forward with the buying girls stuff, I don’t know what items I should buy which is what I need help doing or like a list of stuff I need.