Mistress Lillith was on NF earlier than usual, mostly because of my asking I suspect but it’s hard to say. I sat around at the chat window hoping, pining she would join the chat.
Mistress Lillith is typing a message…
The purple text read. Excitement coarsed through me. I had questions I wanted to ask her, some I had fantasized about all day. As nonsensical as it may sound I specifically wanted to try and playfully draw out her dominant side. I thought I had some good questions.
First the makeup assignment. That was a mess on my end. Next, I asked her about being a better sub. I was saving my favorite question for next but waited for her reply.
Honesty, integrity, and follow-through… Sissification is one of my specialties… But if I don’t connect with the sub or sissy it isn’t going to work.
Oh no, what could this mean? Maybe she was monologuing?
For example I was going to send you a little message [to correct something you said]
And as she typed and typed for about 4 mins in chat, it suddenly occurred to me I had done something wrong and I said as much in chat.
I don’t like anyone using a forum to speak well of me and insult others . I feel what my subs do in public or say about me does reflect me and im one that expects you to respect all others.
Oh shit. I was not expecting this.
Some want to put others down, some don’t care… I kind of do…. Just as I have to sift through some bad seeds to the rare gems (such as you my dear sissy)…
Subs have the same task and… we hope we find each other… Never think that a put down of others is a compliment to me.
The seemingly innocuous feedback read: “Her knowledge of the submissive psyche, and experience with a variety of kinks and fetishes is a huge step up from a lot of the amateur dommes.” I had even specifically purchased one of her teaser clips just so I could leave that specific feedback to share publicly. Really, really unlucky.
I was a little stunned into silence. I felt a pang of shame at my behavior. There was some truth in her criticism. She had a philosophy on the topic I had not considered before, something she must have dealt with for years. Something deep. Something, I suspect only now as I type these words, around the challenges of the sex industry. I had accidentally hit a nerve.
Another feeling began to well up inside of me as I sat at the keyboard in silence. A feeling I’m not sure Mistress Lillith will like to read but it was there true enough… I felt turned on.
I’m like 99% sure her feedback wasn’t intended to turn me on. It read and felt like genuine disappointment. But it did.
She flashed her dominant side. It wasn’t soft and gentle and playful. It was direct and critical and strict. And sexy.
The idea of Mistress Lillith calling me her sub and the emphasis on changing my behavior publicly because I was a reflection of her and her training… It made me hot. What else can I say? It made me hot.
I wanted to send Mistress Lillith a tribute for her time but I worried about the implication of tributing now. Would she think I was using money to apologize for the mistake she clearly cared about?
I sat in silence and also wondered about asking my favored 3rd question I had planned all day: “What would you do if I disobeyed you?” How would this question be interpreted now?!? The timing was all wrong!
Even the simplist missteps no matter how well meaning, will be addressed by me. Part of Sissy School is to learn how to act and behave in all aspects. That is part of my submissive training all in all. I know my darling sissy meant well, there is not a bone in my body believes that she meant it as an insult or backhanded compliment. She was genuine. However, there is still an aspect that needed redirecting.
I will always redirect. How a sissy that belongs to me or a submissive belongs to me acts in public forums is an almost direct reflection on me. SO, I expect you to walk with poise when my name is attatched. In any way, shape or form.
Of course, she was in a fiesty mood this day so any kind of redirection was going to be a bit of a turn on – she had clearly been yearning for something a little more strict. LOL