Tag Archives: sissygasm

Diary Entry: Real Changes and a Sissy-gasm

There are real changes happening.

I noticed them Sunday night as I put my 5″ stilleto high heels on. I thought I would manage okay in high heels, but I couldn’t really walk, and I couldn’t control myself sexually either. That last one bears repeating.

I couldn’t control myself sexually in high heels.

Mistress Lillith had me purchase a chastity device and had been making references to sexual frustration and compliance in some of her messages, which sounds both fun and a little scary.

Prior to Sunday, I had been chaste since last Thursday. I had a pink ribbon tied around my clit.

It’s constant rubbing causing very mild irriation. I was wearing panties occasionally, and I dutifully listened to my mantras prior to bed–playing them on repeat with Mistress Lillith’s subspace hypno goodie as I fell asleep.

Sunday I had some alone time for the first time since … Thursday.

My shoes and cut-offs arrived on Saturday.

I put on the cut-offs with my tank top and thong underwear. WTH, size 31 is never tooooo big for me. I didn’t realize they would stretch so much. Okay that was a little disappointing.

How about the shoes?

Oh my gosh, perfect fit. The strap tied around my ankle, locking them in place. (The strap was surprisingly hard to lock and unlock!) I tried standing: my butt and chest instantly pushed out in opposite directions. Whoa, weird… and interesting. I took a few wobbly steps and realized I didn’t know how to walk in 5″ heels. “I’d better sit back down,” I thought.

Mistress Lillith’s twitter feed had showed some unusual NF activity for her on a Sunday, especially a holiday weekend. I thought there might be a chance of contacting her. I even tried reaching out to her on Skype, which I’ve never used before. No luck.

I purchased a tease and denial dice game video instead.

Stroking. Slow and fast. Alternating styles. It was clear there wouldn’t be a chance to orgasm at the end fo this video. On the last 5 of the dice rolls Mistress Lillith had me edge the number of times as on the die.

Pausing the video… stroking… staring at my shoes. Edge… Breathing… Again… Fuck, my shoes. A tiny pink ribbon bow sticking out from cut offs that were now riding up my ass. Edge. Again.

I was pulsating and twitching. An extra five dice rolls were granted, more stroking but ultimately denial. Staring at my shoes as I stroked… Oh no, I’m cumming. I tried to stand and to make it to the bathroom, but I COULD NOT WALK. ERUPTION. I collapsed in my chair. I completely lost control. Lost control of myself, of my feelings, of my arousal. I hardly recognized the view of my legs… a pink ribbon… a sticky mess… my shoes.

I completely lost control. Wow that was an intense orgasm. Shades of my teenage self. There are real changes happening to me sexually.